Living with fear

Calmly she lies on the couch, staring down at the expectant face of her littlest friend. They are immersed in each other; she purrs and massages her stomach while she caresses her ear and chin. Both living to comfort the other and driving each other mad with annoyance. When one wants silence the other loves noise, when one wants to play the other would like nothing more than to just go to sleep. It is rare to see something as serene as this; they are in sync for the moment. A passing moment but then again something is very different today. Something has changed in this house where the anarchy is prevalent and now there is just no way to know how to move on from here. Everything has changed in the world, taxes are high, people are poorer than ever and a few are richer than ever. Someone took a hammer to society and is now sitting back and watching the shards tare each other apart while they alone hold the key to piecing everything back together.
This is no world to live in, people do not trust one another, and the end of the world has left the realm of the prophet and become a matter of certainty. This is no drug induced vision, there is no supernatural power here, I only have the truth to tell you about. I do not want people to read this in two hundred years and think that I looked into the eyes of my cat and saw the end of all times, let us be clear I am only stating a fact. ‘The world is going to destroy itself’ there is no Mayan calendar here, no scientific discovery and no asteroids about to slam into the planet and annihilate us all. God is not pissed at us and about to send more rain. We are going to destroy ourselves and our tools are greed and apathy. Also by world I mean humanity and everything that we have built here will be destroyed, everything will be lost. A few will survive as no catastrophic event could destroy every single human being, we have grown too numerous and tenacious for that. If there is luck to be had the luck will be if those few persistent souls are smart enough to learn from our mistakes. Then the roaring power of humanity would not have been extinguished for nothing.
Still there are some things to be happy about. Family can still be counted on, perhaps not as much as older generations but enough to be relatively sure that they can help you if need be. Children can still play outside when the weather permits despite the gaming and television domination on entertainment. It is still possible to be healthy; even though it is expensive to pay for medical bills it is not too expensive to stay healthy and prevent a catastrophic loss of income. Insurance companies have not yet closed their grip on society and so you can live a certain amount without having to ask for permission. Movies are entertaining; people are still being inspired to write books and to study philosophy. I am often reminded of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Yeats and Wilde. They knew how to describe anything with beauty, how to see the humour in bad times. I see it. I still laugh when ever I see a dog chasing his own tail or that absolute madness within everyday life. I still feel the love of a thousand beating hearts when I look into her eyes, and yet everything has changed.
Once again the anarchy has returned, the silence we had been enjoying for what seemed like minutes is over. There is screaming and shouting and commands being given, calls made, plans to put into progress, A prayer is said but I do not know who I was praying to. It wasn’t God he is too apathetic to care, Buddha teaches calmness and serenity but that is not going to help me here, nope none of the angels or saints had anything useful to offer. Batman and Superman were busy so who was it that I was praying to? Who had the power to see me through this madness to the other side? As I sat in the waiting room waiting for the doctor to call me I went over it in my head; time and time again and then it hit me, I took a breath and calmed my thoughts and everything became clear to me. I wasn’t praying to any celestial being. The only person that I needed to get me through the day was laying in the maternity ward. I am the only person she needs to get her though today and the prayer was to her.
The clocked struck 3 and I heard a tapping and a winge. There she was, my angel, my girls were alright, the world suddenly became the last concern in my head. The look of her sleepy face as she awakens into the world has consumed me. I look over to a weary queen; she manages a smile before she drifts off to sleep and takes a well earned respite. I look over at my Lillian and whisper to her
“From here to the end of time and beyond,
I will hold your hand, guide you where you need to go,
And fall back when you need me to,
I will protect you forever, you are the guardian of my heart,
The protector of my soul, the keeper of the keys to my heart,
Together we will face life’s challenges with pride.”
And now the story ends. But like all of life’s journeys, the end is only the beginning.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This I Promise

The learning curve

Precious Days